Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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