put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Randomize
