How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It was confusing and full of hummus
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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