$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
