I can text with my tongue
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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