you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
