at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
