I CAN MOONWALK!
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Randomize
