watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
