Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
