Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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