i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
