I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
