they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
