Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
