i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
