I'm jealous of your bromance
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
