Who did Billy Mays play for?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
