His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
