hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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