Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
