hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
