NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Randomize
