Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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