**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
