So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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