you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
