tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You can't just leave with hair like that
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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