the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
