boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
