Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
