I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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