Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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