Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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