Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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