You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
