I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
