Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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