Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
