Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
