too bad you live with your parents still
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
