How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Boobs speak an international language.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
