Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
