nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
