I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
