11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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