That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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