yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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