Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
