so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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