Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
