I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
