Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
