My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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