I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
