im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
