He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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